Well January has arrived, and it is time to return to work from maternity leave. It has been a turbulent but amazing past 8 months that I am glad I got to have off. I am proud to introduce my son, Arthur, who has been nothing but a blessing on our life. He came into this world on June 1st with less than 2 hours of labour, which I am very thankful for!
Due to York counting leave by semesters, I was able to take the last month of my pregnancy off which helped me relax as labour was probably the scariest part for me. If you recall in my previous post right before my leave (http://york-pvl.blogspot.com/2020/05/deciding-to-start-family-while-being.html), I mentioned that Arthur was due near the end of May but decided he was too cozy in the belly. By 8 days after my due date, the midwives suggested a stress test to see how the baby was doing as they recommend inducing labour 10 days after your due date. By the time of my stress test, I was ready to meet Arthur and get the scary part out of the way. I was relieved when they told me I was already in labour when I took the stress test and that I wouldn’t be leaving the hospital that day. It was so sudden that it was hard for me to process and get panicked. However, the stress test did reveal that whenever I had a contraction, my stomach would squeeze Arthur to the point where his heart slowed down significantly. This was nerve-wracking in itself. After this was monitored and then found that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his feet, the doctors decided an emergency c-section was necessary as his heart had fully stopped for a moment. My water broke at 2:30 PM and Arthur was born at 4:15 PM. I’ve read that labour can be hours to days for some women so for it to be that quick was relieving for me. Even though I didn’t give birth the “normal” way, it was normal for me or my baby would have died. The stress and emotions on that day are something that I will remember for the rest of my life and I hug Arthur hard every day knowing that.
I was quite blessed that York offered paid maternity leave as these past 8 months were definitely needed to figure out how to live a life with a baby. The worst part of it is probably the first 6-8 weeks when Arthur is trying to figure out how to be a human and you are trying to judge how to handle your newborn. I was also in recovery for 6 full weeks, with the first 2 almost confined to a rocking chair or bed due to my surgery. It was painful to walk anywhere, but I was lucky that my partner was home 24/7 to help. Slowly your entire house gets filled with baby stuff, including things that you either never use or he grows out of so quickly. We barely touched the 3-6 month clothes as Arthur grew tall so fast that by 4 months, he was the height of a 6-7 month old. I am quite short myself, so those genes definitely didn’t come from me! He is currently 8 months on February 1st and still tall and a good weight with blonde hair and blue eyes. He can sit up, loves food and is just an overall happy baby. We are so excited that we decided to take this path and not let my PhD studies get in the way.
Even though I was on leave, there was one important item that needed to get done. Right before I left, I submitted a paper that I co-wrote with a group at Curtin University in Australia about our Machine Learning project. I got an email indicating the first round of revisions were ready. I looked over them quickly and noticed that the majority of the questions were better suited for the Curtin group so I decided to do the revisions while on leave. I asked for an extension as they gave 2 weeks. Unfortunately, Arthur was 4 months at the time and still needed tons of Mom attention. Either way, my partner and I worked out a schedule so I could have time to work and I was able to get my revisions in on time. Just before Christmas I got another email expecting a second round, however, it turns out there were no more revisions needed and it was ready to be published. I am very proud that I was able to write a scientific paper while pregnant and get it published while still on leave. Feel free to check it out here: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0094576520307736
Now that I am back at work, I have found that I don’t have the same energy I used to. Some mornings Arthur wakes early so I am more exhausted that day than others. The pandemic has also made it a bit harder to work from home as I can hear Arthur downstairs. Whenever he cries it triggers a reaction that I must pick up my baby. However, by frequently going to see your baby when you are trying to leave them for the day makes it harder on the baby as you are constantly coming and going. I’ve been trying to mediate that by wearing headphones or playing music out loud to drown out the sound downstairs. I am currently in the midst of trying to figure out a good ideal schedule that can balance work and home without getting too overwhelmed. Even then, I am ready and excited to get back into work!
Overall, Arthur has been adjusting well to me being at work and even goes to bed without me on nights that I have to moderate a lab session as part of my Teaching Assistant section of my PhD. As time goes on, both Arthur and I will get used to the new schedule and I will become a full-time working Mom. It is a hard job trying to be a mother and doing PhD studies, but it will be worth it once I get my degree and can provide a good life for my family.
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